Damn it, Peter David, you’re a racist asshole and I don’t want to support your work anymore. But. If this isn’t a cop out (David claims it is not), and if it isn’t going to end in tragedy (it totally will ;_;)…I may have to pick up X-Factor again. *sigh*

What? The only way I’m going to catch up on my sleep is by going to sleep? Pshaw, shut your nonsense spout.

Hey, here’s a thought- I could just change the title of NSA to “Smooth Criminal.”

…I think that would officially make me a terrible person. I’d get the badge and bumpersticker and everything. (I REGRET NOTH- oh god that’s such a lie, I regret all of it.)

I had several skeins of green yarn, you know. And now, when I need to crochet something green, I can’t find any of the proper shades of green that I need. This is irritating. I guess I could just use the fuzzy blue stuff? Except that’s about as far from green as I can get without resorting to the Hello Kitty yarn, so maybe not. *sigh* I haven’t crocheted anything since before May. I should really get back on that. Make purses or something, I dunno. Okay, that’s not entirely true- I crocheted a necklace over the weekend, when I wasn’t having a nervous breakdown because I was convinced that everyone in the universe hated me and wanted me to die. …these things happen occasionally. It goes away eventually. Usually. Anyway! Used wire and beads, and it’s pretty but my hands still hurt, so maybe wire crochet and I aren’t meant to be.

Dear Star Trek Kink Meme: Could we maybe tone down the gross misogyny (seriously, why does Uhura keep getting such a bum deal?), gay stereotyping (yes, let’s make generalizations about twinks, there’s nothing wrong with that), and transphobia (newsflash! a transwoman? is a woman. the fact that she might have, at some point, had male genitalia? is irrelevant and no one’s business, and if you want to base your prompt around the idea that it is, I will punch a cock)! (SPEAKING OF UHURA this fiiiiiic. It is awesome. It is so awesome, and I wish Uhura in the movie had been able to be that awesome on screen, fully clothed. A-also I might be slightly shipping Spock/Uhura IF ONLY I CAN IGNORE ALL OF THE SKETCHINESS THAT WAS THE MOVIE because man, the movie sketched that shit up hella harsh, yo.) God, Star Trek. I find parts of your fandom so entertaining, and yet so much of you gives me horrible cancer.

*grumble grumble* Why, no, I can’t just be happy and let people have their fun, god, how could you even suggest such a thing? People are wrong and offensive on the internet!

*sigh* This is the third time the internet has made Jude crash catastrophically today. I forsee some scrubbing and defragging in the near future. Possibly it is also an indication that I should stop looking at hentai, I dunno. (YES, SPAMBOTS. I SAID HENTAI. YOU WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT? I WILL BAN YOUR ASSES SO HARD.)

I hate blocking scenes- plot and movement are two of my biggest weaknesses in writing, and they’re two of the things I dislike dealing with the most. I like pointless character studies and endless conversations- I grew up on late-era Heinlein, when the majority of his books were just chapters of people flirting with each other and being clever.

Figuring out how to get two characters from point A (pinned to the wall in an armlock, fully clothed) to point B (on the floor, naked) and then later to point C (opposite ends of the room, standing) is a pain in the ass, especially when I have most of the things that happen at points A, B, and C already written. I just need to find a way to connect them that actually makes sense and keeps the flow of things going.

I have a strange and perverse desire to make this thing hit six thousand words- I’m at 4,600 now, and I have so much transitional shit to write. It could happen. Of course, I’ve already excised a good five hundred words between yesterday and today- once I fill in those transitions, I’m going to have to pare things down and fix the awkward bits. The whole thing- all of the prequel-y scenes and outtakes, and all of the epilogue stuff- is now around 15,000 words. Which is less impressive when you consider that all of the prequel stuff is irrelevant, and most of those 15,000 words are tiny vignettes and fragments. I’m still no good at writing anything of length or internal consistency.

The whole epic piece of nonsense is still Never Sleep Alone, but I may end up calling the terrible scene “Skin” once it’s done, in keeping with my tradition of naming fragments after whatever song I’m listening to at the time. (When it’s done, I’ll also post the track list, since I’ve become a bit obsessed with this song.) I wanted to get more of it written today, but today ended up being a bad day. (I wrote a very silly, very tiny bit of nonsense for the ST kink meme, though.)

And I figured out one of the lesser transitions- now I only have three lesser transitions and one major one (which may end up requiring a lot of words- this is what happens when you start writing in media res, as it were; you realize you’re missing half the foreplay). (Also, man. I keep having to tell myself it could be worse! It could have degenerated into bestiality! Because it’s not like that would phase Rien in the slightest! And then I die a little inside.) So, progress! I want this thing fucking done; I’m halfway tempted to just say ‘fuck it’ to all of it, and post it as-is, because it does more or less go from point A to point F in a straight line. But I know that even if I tell myself I’ll go back and finish the incomplete parts, I never will. *sigh*

Ohgod, Bill. And Jessica. Six minutes in and I’m dying. Poor Bill. He totally deserves all of it, but poor, poor Bill.

And Lafayette wasn’t the corpse in the car! That makes me happy.

Seriously, dying. XD

ERIC. HOMG ERIC. AHAHAHA oh god that’s terrible. And hilarious. But mostly terrible. “Is there blood in my hair?” Ohmygod. *dies*

OH MY GOD PAAAAAAAAAAAM. I just had to pause the episode to flap madly. God. If I were still using livejournal at this point, I would icon the shit out of Pam. I may do that anyway. “This. Is a disaster.”

I just want to watch the Eric and Pam show all the time. It is. So good.

Ohgod, Bill. Trying to buy clothes for Jessica. With his hair being all floppy and emo and him being so amaaazingly awkward. And Eriiiiiiiiic. With short haaaaaaair. Being gay at Bill. <3 So gay that even the store clerks notice it. And he comes bearing the plot of the second book! That’s exciting. As are the smouldering looks Bill keeps giving Eric. Mm. Tasty.

Man. S2 Jason: still a jerk. But a slightly more complicated jerk than he was in the first season! That’s kind of awesome.

And oh, the Maenad. And oh, Jessica. This is going to end in tragedy. So, so much tragedy.

Oh, Lafayette. <3

The hell? Apparently last year the Yuletide mods decided that all Final Fantasies are created equal, and has banned them on account of them being large fandoms. All Doctor Who incarnations, and all X-Men are also considered ineligible. What I want to know- since it’s clear that the mods are basically just being lazy and/or douchebags- is whether they consider X-Men to be all comics with “X-Men” in the title or all comics with “X” in the title? Because I can guarantee that most of the people in the X-Men movie fandom have never heard of Gen X, X-Factor, or X-Force.

I’m pissed about the Final Fantasy thing too, because the Ivalice fandoms are all tiny, and Yuletide has consistently been a place where I can find good FFT fic. Too, equating the FFVI fandom with the FFVII fandom is just- moronic. It would be like saying TOS and DS9 were equivalent just because they’ve both got Star Trek in the titles. Actually, it makes even less sense than that; the Star Trek series all take place in the same continuity and universe; none of the Final Fantasy games are connected apart from the fact that they’ve all got airships and characters named Cid.

Granted, since I’ve never actually participated in Yuletide (nor do I intend to, honestly; there’s a limited number of people I’m willing to write things for on request, after all), I don’t have much right to gripe about the mods. But it’s the principle of the thing, and now I’m irritated. >_<

On the one hand, Mansai Nomura’s voice is incredibly sexy. On the other, I haven’t the attention span for subtitles these days. Thankfully, the English dubbing is actually very good- Seimei’s English voice isn’t the same level of scorching hot that his Japanese voice is, but it’s still pretty awesome. (For added lulz, he’s the same guy who does Ryo’s voice in the awful, awful Fake OAV.) And the dubbing usually gives a less literal and more entertaining translation than the subtitles provide. (For instance, “We’ve been playing duets” sounds a bit better than “He’s my music friend.”)

The English voices do manage to sound sleazier than the Japanese ones, which is occasionally hilarious and awesome in all the best ways.

…yeah, this movie really is a million times gayer than the first one. A million. <3 <3 <3 <3 The fact that Seimei looks as though he is constantly about to burst into laughter is so, so good for me. It's even better when he actually does burst into laughter. Seriously, I can’t stop giggling. It’s fantaaaastic.

Seimei’s response to being attacked by a demon: throw a fan at it! *facepalm*

Seimei’s response to Hiromasa being an idiot: freeze him with a spell and bodily pick him up and move him to the side. *faaaaacepalm* It’s the part where he just sort of inches Hiromasa over to the edge of the veranda that gets me. I mean, did you really need to move him at all, Seimei, or was that just an excuse to put your hands all over him? Yeah, don’t answer that one.

Heyyyy, another super erotic demon exorcism! I gotta say, I kind of really enjoy those- and in this movie, we get side boob! Awesome. Side boob and disheveled Seimei. Two great tastes, etc., etc.

I’m going to have so much fun taking screencaps. Seimei with his hair down, all dressed up like a priestess and dancing in hammer pants! <3 <3 <3 More awesomely homoerotic fight scenes! I've reached the flapping-with-glee stage, here. Glee.

So, I just watched Onmyoji, and spent most of the movie giggling madly because Mansai Nomura playing Abe no Seimei? Being badass and pimp and short and smiling all the time? Is Silverlock. Sans the body mods, but still- if I were casting the Toggle movie, that’s who would play Silverlock. (Okay, the moment that toally sealed this for me was, in fact, when he’s making kissy faces at the cursed snake right after he meets Hiromasa. I like it when movies say to me, “Here, have a scene. We made it just for you!” The rest of the movie was just gravy, really. Delicious, ridiculous, gayer-than-expected gravy.)

The movie is a hell of a lot of fun, in general- full of crazy Heian period clothing (the hats! what the hell are they doing) and crazier Japanese demons and ghosts, and everyone is just the right combination of dignified and campy to make up for the cheesy special effects. And it’s a good movie, too- actualized characters and a plot that holds together; my low expectations are showing, but it’s a solid piece of cinema on its own merits. And it gets pretty gay towards the end, which was delightful and somewhat unexpected. (Other things that were unexpected: the sheer, bizarre hotness of the demon-identification scene and the onmyoji battle towards the end. Unf. Though I’m pretty sure the demon scene was meant to resemble softcore, but it was really effective in that respect. …or possibly it’s just that Mansai Nomura has a really pretty mouth, and I’m really shallow. Whatever!)

I’ve Netflixed the sequel, which apparently has all sorts of fanservicey extras between the two lead actors. <3 The fandom is tiny, but there’s a nice selection of good fic that I just stayed up far, far too late to read all of; perhaps I’ll do a rec post at some point in the near future. In the meantime, still giggling madly. XD

DEEP IN THE HEART. OF SHERWOOD FOREST. LIVES. A. LEGEND.

I’d forgotten how this show was made of nonsense! Delicious nonsense!

Will Scarlet: still really gay. Robin: still a moron. The Sherrif: still fucking crazy. Maid Marysue: still the only character with even half a measure of sense, which isn’t saying much considering. Djaq: no longer trying to look like a boy!

My god, the plot is made of swiss cheese and the characters are all idiots and yet. I love it so.

I rather wish the Sheriff’s sister had gotten more development, as that relationship could’ve been quite interesting. Instead, she gets fridged, which is unfortunate.

And, of course, all of the awesome characters are one-offs. *sigh* I like the crazy Bavarian count, and he and Maid Marysue have delightfully silly chemistry together.

I adore Much and his unwavering loyalty to Robin. Adore it.

I like how I’m all, “Oh, Star Trek, it’s not you, it’s me, I’m just not feeling the chemistry,” and then I run across this prompt on the kink meme and my brain is like, “Heyyyyyy, we can work with that.” BAD BRAIN, NO COOKIE. Though now I have to resist the urge to go rifling through the prompts for things that are plotless and excessively kinky and see if I get struck with the urge to comit similar travesties. As, you know. Writing exercises. WOOO ANONYMITY. *still feels like dying of shame*

Gnnnrrg. God, my head hurts. I should go to bed. *feels unaccountably grumpy*

Writing is, occasionally, a little bit like having water in your ear. It’s annoying as hell, and you can feel the stories sloshing around, but the only thing you can do is shake your head violently and thwack the side of your skull while going “Auuugh get it out get it out get it out” until something splashes onto the page.

My powers of metaphor and simile occasionally leave much to be desired. *sigh* *stares mournfully at writing prompts*

So, I’ve been watching some TV again; it’s summer, and the networks are debuting their new off-season shows. Pretty much all of prime-time TV is now either a medical drama or a cop show (unless it’s Heroes or Dollhouse or Lost, in which case people will pretend it isn’t SF). I go over to visit mom once or twice a week, and we catch up on all the DVR’d TV.

Thoughts on Mental and Royal Pains below the cut. Long post is motherfucking long, you guys, I kind of put on my angry hat and my ranty pants in places.
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more…

I will not write Districtmancy Pride Month shennanigans just because I can.
I will not write Districtmancy Pride Month shennanigans just because I can.
I will not- oh, hell, I’m not actually fooling anyone, am I?

>.> Seriously, my head, she is full of ridiculous things. Ridiculous.

I will, someday, get my own urban fantasy universe to muck about in so I can stop borrowing Gina’s and getting mysterious stains all over it. Really.

Need to get back in the swing of things; the plane ride helped, and I got a little writing done over the weekend (on old, old stuff, but it’s now old, old stuff that is somewhat closer to being finished), but not nearly as much as I would’ve liked. So. I would like to open the floor to writing prompts in the style of last may, but this isn’t a terribly good forum for that. I’m hesitant to use my LJ for such shennanigans, which leaves my dreamwidth, where ya’ll would need to either obtain an account (still have one more invite code) or use OpenID. Or I could just bite the bullet, get over my weird self consciousness issues, and put it on LJ anyway. (I’ve no idea why I’m so reluctant to use LJ, actually; I’ve done drabble memes there before.)

Thoughts, preferences?

Perhaps I’m just being overly sensitive, and I know it’s just fanfic and therefore subscribes to a different mindset and collection of tropes than reality. But. When I see someone on the Star Trek kinkmeme requesting Bones/Kirk/drugged-and-unconscious-Chekov, and someone else applauding the prompting for more Chekov dub-con, I kind of want to choke a bitch*.

In fact, the whole concept of “dubious consent” makes me want to choke a bitch and grab fandom by its collective shoulders and shake violently. Because, hey! IT’S STILL MOTHERFUCKING RAPE. I’m not talking scenarios where there is consent but the consent has an ulterior motive (ie, “have sex with the villain to save the lives of the rest of the crew” or something like that) or if the consent is tempered by guilt and shame in an “I don’t want to want this/make me want this” sort of way- those might actually merit the label of “dubious consent.”

But the aforementioned unconscious Chekov request? That’s non-con. I’m sorry, but there’s really no way around it. CALL IT WHAT IT IS, MOTHERFUCKERS. If you get off to rape, then own that. Don’t try to candy coat it with cutesy labels and references to “gray rape” and “dubious consent.”

Also, the term is “mind meld,” bitches, not “mindmelt.” Get it the fuck right. >_<

*This doesn't mean I disapprove of the prompt itself in any way- I mean, who doesn't love fucked up threesome sexings in the sickbay? But don't try to pretend that it isn't fucked up.

(In general the fanfic trope of "Oh no, I don't want you to fuck me please don't oh you're hurting me oh wait actually I'm enjoying myself" annoys me. Mostly because it reminds me too much of the seme/uke sex tropes in yaoi and shounen ai where the uke never actually wants sex, but he is reduced to swooning tears by the manly dominance of the seme's cock whether he wants it or not. This doesn't mean I won't read fic with that scenario in it, nor does it mean that I don’t enjoy it- but it’s one of those things that I absolutely cannot think about too hard while I’m reading it, or the whole thing turns sour. Possibly I’m just in an over-thinking sort of mood right now. *sigh*)

Feeling inordinately grumpy; listening to Vienna Teng’s “Harbor” on repeat isn’t so much helping with the grumpy as adding a huge heaping pile of wibble on top of it.

*wibbles grumpily*

I spent most of the plane trip back writing fucked up Districtmancy AU-of-the-AU porn (the one where Silverlock isn’t a horrible person but terrible things seem to happen to Macauley and Blaine anyway); I like Barnes & Noble’s little refillable journals, as they are apparently the perfect size for me to write incriminating things in public in.

“Harbor” has also, by the way, become a Toggle Silverlock song, which is…almost too adorable for words, actually. Almost. I may find the words and write that fragment, even if it is mostly an excuse for me to wank about religion in Toggle and and God-modded Blaine. And to write blatant cuddling and possibly mildly exhibitionist sex (or, at the very least, pantless shennanigans) in the Gardens of Venani. (”You do realize there are acolytes looking for me as we speak?” “I most certainly do. And yet, you’re the one trying to remove my pants.” “Don’t talk back to priests, it’s bad for your soul.”)

(Alternately, “Furthermore, Little Brother, though your presence here on Our holy grounds is certainly most pleasing to Us after so many years of your estrangement from your brethren, We would be most appreciative if you could perhaps make an effort in the future to conduct yourself with greater decorum and more clothing when making use of Our public spaces.” “Of course, Your Profundity. If we may be excused?” “Indeed.” “Does it make it better or worse to know that the Avatar was enjoying the view the entire time she was, er, dressing you down?” “Worse. Definitely worse. I’m just going to go drown myself in one of the viewing pools now.”)

(Blaine and Ashanisha are actually good friends later in the post-story; this takes place a little too soon after his resurrection for him to feel anything other than irritated and resentful at everything related to Venani. (”You’re one of the most powerful Apostles in the history of this church, and yet you can barely stand to be in the presence of your god.” “Ironic, isn’t it? On the other hand, ‘Isha, you, of all people, should understand that our deity is kind of a dick.”) After a few years he mellows out a little bit and stops being quite so angry- unlike Silverlock, who never stops being angry and spends the next few hundred years making a point of terrorizing the acolytes and junior Apostles. He gets away with it because Ashanisha and Wyn like him, and so does Ashanisha’s successor.)

Voxtrot’s “Rise Up in the Dirt” is still sort of the quintessential Silverlock–>Blaine song prior to and during the Riftwar; “Harbor” is more applicable to them at the very end of the story, and the years afterwards, when they’re being all stupidly happy together. (Seriously. The happy, it is of sub-par intelligence. *rolls around in the fluff*) “Dela” is the original Blaine–>Silverlock song; Duncan Sheik’s “Home” is the post-story one. And yes, “Harbor” and “Home” are both kind of saccharine and stereotypical, but I don’t really care. I’m allowed to make stereotypical, saccharine song calls if I want to; “On Love, In Sadness” is still the song call for Blaine’s death, after all, and that’s never going to change.

Toggle gets all the cute, happy, sentimental music; Districtmancy gets NIN and “The Widow”. *anguish hands* (It occurred to me the other day that my primary influence for DM-verse at the moment is Wuthering fucking Heights, and then I laughed until I cried a little because auuuuugh.)

“It’s like cocaine and crack, doused in sugar and lit on fire!”

(Well, it is!)

Rode hard and put up wet,
I ain’t down but I can’t get up yet
It’s a long ride back to the way I want to feel
Sun down across the plain,
I’ve been sore before I’ll be sore again
No place to hide to keep from runnin’
Laid down in the cottonwood hollow
thought I left a trail no man could follow,
Is it safe to rest my head again till morning?
Cracked throat and my canteen’s dry and
Rain don’t fall from an empty sky,
so I’ll whisper Hail Maries till the sun comes up

Now don’t tell me that part of the story when the cowboy falls in love
When he traded in his pistol and his saddle and the stars above
When the candle’s burnin’ down, when midnight comes around
You know the best that we can hope for is to be laughin’ when we finally hit the ground

Rode hard come down tired,
stripped from the saddle when the rifle fired,
Deep in dreams of women and clean water
Well I did before what I’ll do again
So forgive me Father if I have sinned,
but the old wood cracks before it bends

Now don’t tell me that part of the story when the cowboy falls in love-
When he traded in his pistol and his saddle and the stars above.
When the candle’s burnin’ down, when midnight comes around
You know the best that we can hope for is to be laughin’ when we finally hit

Yeah the candle’s burnin’ down, now midnight comes around.
You know the best that we can hope for is to be laughin’ when we finally hit the ground
The candle’s burnin’ down, and when midnight comes around
-The Refreshments, “Sin Nombre”

I have a Trigun AMV to this song that makes my chest clench. Good stuff.